I want to be free...
Free from what they call as society.
From love, from hate
From early, from late
From status, from power
From every "wasted" hour
From all that defines dignity.
From you and from me.
Its been played long eough, this game
These pretentious concepts, this money this fame.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
spontaneous combustion aka change.
"Take a piece of white cloth.......a few cuts here and there ..some stitches here some touch ups there........and it transforms into an attire.......or atleast into something that is worth more than the piece of cloth which was used......." You might have heard of such examples if you were open enough to expose yourself to a motivational speaker or even better , a career councellor. I find the whole profession of being a career councellor a joke.......and even worse is the state of the person who is going to one such character for help . Its like an apple asking an orange if i should become a milkshake or a fruitsalad. "Guidance" is NOT the need of the hour.........not this one......not anytime soon. We have enough people following enough different things , trying `hard to convince themselves that they are THE truth. You know what the truth is? The truth is that you either have the biggest ego there can be to believe in something so fucking blindly.....or youre most stupid than the shed hair from a lhama's ass.
I am not the person i was two years ago.....people change.....they evolve . Atleast they like to believe so. You would always believe that you are worth that much more after every half-significant encounter there can be in your life.
So how do we deal with this "so called" change?.......we can either walk past all those experiences and be completely drenched in the pool of nostalgia, wishing you can relive all those memories again or actually go ahead relive them and be struck hard by how the "change" wouldnt let that happen . I wonder what a councellor would say.... a relly good one at that.
I am not the person i was two years ago.....people change.....they evolve . Atleast they like to believe so. You would always believe that you are worth that much more after every half-significant encounter there can be in your life.
So how do we deal with this "so called" change?.......we can either walk past all those experiences and be completely drenched in the pool of nostalgia, wishing you can relive all those memories again or actually go ahead relive them and be struck hard by how the "change" wouldnt let that happen . I wonder what a councellor would say.... a relly good one at that.
Friday, March 28, 2008
The WANDERER
Its an indoor saturday morning.......havent seen a saturday morning in some time! Its really kinda wierd that you wake up on certain days with a panic attack , like there some kind of a constriction between your lungs and the pharynx...... like someone is pressing harder as you try breathing harder, like they get some kind of a cheap thrill doing it. It settles down after some time knowing that the world around you is perfectly normal and for some strange reason you are left wondering what IS up with this guilt trip. This feeling is infectious.....its tailor made rather well to keep analysing your immediate past and the things that you have screwd up doing.
Karma can be a bitch......how much ever might be the magnitude of "non belief". I dont want to get into the fundamentals of what the point of our existance is...... at a raw level it depresses you and tells you how much lower you are at the solitary ladder of "rat racing".
I switch the television on...... NEWS is more "bad" news and "crap" news than anything else........i mean who wants to hear about what the great KHALI is upto? Media has become such an attention whore......it is pitiful.
So i am wondering.why this stupid feeling of quandry, this "onus" keeps getting heavier......its almost significant. After trying really hard to keep away from analysis I give in. Well if you do not have an I.Q of a fruitfly you will understand how "demanding" on the human brain analysis can be. Pour in just a bit......not too much just a lil bit of imagination, almost as much as the amount of ajinomoto you put in your rice to make the taste tend towards "chinese"...... a little amount makes a big difference isnt it? So this is where this "trip" reaches a new level with this infectious kid on the block.
Its almost like an acid trip........hallucinations, confessions , your remotest obsessions that make you feel disgusted......you dont want to look at your face in the mirror. You fight it, harder like it is going to determine your life and just when the feeling starts to fade away...... in comes the "hangover". Now you are caught prevaricating ...convincing yourself...... this phase will go.
Indignance creeps in and you dont want to think any more . This feeling which was in the chest area now "shifts" to the stomach and you realize it is also taking its toll on you physically.
You need help!
Who do you run to? Mommy of course ..... possibly the only unconditional love you will get in your life as she gives you a tablet. In mom you trust........ you pop it in and 15 mins later the feeling magically disappears and you are amazed.
As mommy walks in saying ....." you shoudnt have eaten so many of those fries yesterday, you have developed gas in your stomach" .
Life goes on tararyatatatuararara.
Karma can be a bitch......how much ever might be the magnitude of "non belief". I dont want to get into the fundamentals of what the point of our existance is...... at a raw level it depresses you and tells you how much lower you are at the solitary ladder of "rat racing".
I switch the television on...... NEWS is more "bad" news and "crap" news than anything else........i mean who wants to hear about what the great KHALI is upto? Media has become such an attention whore......it is pitiful.
So i am wondering.why this stupid feeling of quandry, this "onus" keeps getting heavier......its almost significant. After trying really hard to keep away from analysis I give in. Well if you do not have an I.Q of a fruitfly you will understand how "demanding" on the human brain analysis can be. Pour in just a bit......not too much just a lil bit of imagination, almost as much as the amount of ajinomoto you put in your rice to make the taste tend towards "chinese"...... a little amount makes a big difference isnt it? So this is where this "trip" reaches a new level with this infectious kid on the block.
Its almost like an acid trip........hallucinations, confessions , your remotest obsessions that make you feel disgusted......you dont want to look at your face in the mirror. You fight it, harder like it is going to determine your life and just when the feeling starts to fade away...... in comes the "hangover". Now you are caught prevaricating ...convincing yourself...... this phase will go.
Indignance creeps in and you dont want to think any more . This feeling which was in the chest area now "shifts" to the stomach and you realize it is also taking its toll on you physically.
You need help!
Who do you run to? Mommy of course ..... possibly the only unconditional love you will get in your life as she gives you a tablet. In mom you trust........ you pop it in and 15 mins later the feeling magically disappears and you are amazed.
As mommy walks in saying ....." you shoudnt have eaten so many of those fries yesterday, you have developed gas in your stomach" .
Life goes on tararyatatatuararara.
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